He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
