dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
