What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
