you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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