You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
