dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
