i don't like sucking hair
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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