just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
