forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
