My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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