how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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