butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
