a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
