he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
