i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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