You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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