This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
