she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
