I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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