I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
