you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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