I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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