No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
