Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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