Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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