So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I love having hate sex.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
