I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
