Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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