i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
