I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someone shattered a urinal.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Found the puke drawer
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
