I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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