They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
