So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
