i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
