so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
