College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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