youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
