I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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