I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
