I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
