Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
