so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
