it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
