is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
