: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
