No I am not eating basil off your cock
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Will exercising make me less horny?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
