who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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