if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
