Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
