But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
