We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
