Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
